Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
return my video game
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
