I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
only if we run a train.
done.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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