He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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