3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
