Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
