Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
