So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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