Whod you bang
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
