She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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