Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
