I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
