I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
