Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
