Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
