we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
