I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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