either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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