You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
