I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
