I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
