we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
