you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
