I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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