what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
