I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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