I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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