Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
