I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
