You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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