You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
