Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Randomize
