Me too!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
