Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
