So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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