i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
