Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i think i have herpe
just one?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
