Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
