I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
