Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
