Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
