guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
