They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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