I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
