Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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