belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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