then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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