i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm really busy with my period
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