do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
