So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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