I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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