shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
